I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
