brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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