So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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