pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
