Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need water and some morals
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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