I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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