You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
