The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize