Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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