he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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