All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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