Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
