Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
