Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
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felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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