last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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