i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
