You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
