So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
