You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize