I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize