Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
