That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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