This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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