I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize