i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize