In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
