I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sext me about skeletons
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
