just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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