Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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