just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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