Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
