Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
