But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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