That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
