Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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