Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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