Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
