you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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