my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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