bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
