all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
