i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize