You're a womanizer and a bitch.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize