I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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