wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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