i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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