She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
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she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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