That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
