i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
