Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
