i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
