I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
