i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
