At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
