Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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