his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
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We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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