I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
