Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
