I am full of burrito and curiosity
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
