The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
