I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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