thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You were trust falling into bushes
Damn victory sex feels great
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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