so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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