THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
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Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
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He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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