I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
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You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize